GoodBye.

Some days, I think about you. Its hurting me, letting go of you, but I am learning. Learning to be strong without my strongest support, my pillar. I am learning to be strong, for myself, with me. Some days, I think about what we used to be, what magic we had and how fast we used it. We once shined like stars and we burned like them. Some days, I blame you completely, for everything single fault we couldn’t fix, those days are rare but they crash into me at odd times of the day. I shout and rage, never on the outside. I let those moments burn my heart for every single time I do, it comes alive again, like a phoenix, stronger and a bit calmer. Some days, most of them, are dark, a black abyss that I lose myself into, blaming myself and wondering how could I misjudge you so completely, how could you not even fight for one person I always naively believed you would,. Those days I feel cold, so numb and harsh that sits around in my head but hurts every muscle in my body forgetting that its a two-way deal and I was alone holding the reins. Some days, I hear what they about you, all cruel things, none of them good, and I wonder if that really was you and somehow just like another, in my heart and mind, I made you how I saw you instead of what was standing in front of me. Those days, I feel sad, an unhappy boom of upset in my stomach, not on you, never because of you but only because my heart refused to believe still, what they say. Some days, I feel overwhelmed to rush to you, hold you close and forget everything that happened, but I don’t, not because I can’t but just because now my heart knows you did me wrong and it can’t let you in again. Some days, I cry, you know how weak I can be, I cry so hard I feel my head bursting for all the good times we had, for how easily I was replaced, for how you never gave me a warning, continued using me till the end, for making a fool out of me in front of people, for making me the bad guy so easily even though I tried my hardest to change your image to everyone. Those days, I feel arrogant, for you can never replace me and my spirit, never get a person who forgets her own value for you again, never have someone take responsibility for you. Some days, some very precious days, I feel at peace, for I have found love, a pure love not a selfish version, and feel myself losing you slowly, hurtfully but yes losing you and I remember the same love I had for you, it was different and deep and still shimmers in my heart to be for you if you ever need me. And some days, I thank you, in my heart, in my mind for leading me to pure affection and love that I deserve. Those days, I look at you and remember that sometimes the bad things in our lives puts us in the path of the best thing that will happen to us.